


Kissing You Goodbye

by lickmymccracken



Category: My Chemical Romance, The Used
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-28
Updated: 2013-02-28
Packaged: 2017-12-03 22:33:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/703366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lickmymccracken/pseuds/lickmymccracken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feelsy drabble based off of The Used song Kissing You Goodbye off their album Artwork</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kissing You Goodbye

Don’t ask me for a kiss, we’ll both know that it’s wrong. You’ve left me bleeding; a broken, mangled mess of what I was, strung up on lost emotions and unrequited love. Could you count how many sentences never left my lips by the scars on my heart and on my palms; crescent shaped indents from my struggles to keep quiet, carry on with the lie of how it was supposed to be; remembering the maybes and one days? Could you remember cutting me to shreds, your words like razor blades slicing into me at every conversation? Oh, but it made me feel something, that sliver of skin was a million emotions stuffed into a tiny droplet of blood. Or was that you personified in the crimson stains? The proof of how you once were my life-force, the bass drum that made my heart beat once again, urged open my veins to let the sweet, sticky blood run through my body again. My blood flowed only for you, angel, don’t you see? While you were trying to die, I only wanted to live the rest of my life by your side. There was nothing else, the world was a dull blur compared to the light the reflected off your face. As your light dulled and your fire flickered out it pulled me into the abyss with you, strangling me and drowning me in the murky waters and burned my throat like vodka. I was drunk from your sadness; we were both high off our desperation to find love. If we had looked for a God in the sky, would they have helped in our search? Did they help you in yours? Would that God lean a soft kiss of knowledge onto my cheek, spare from the crippling heartbreak I would soon be faced with? If there were such a God, I might not have found you at all. They might have left me to wander and drown in my own solidarity and choke on my own alcoholic waters. Why does impending death taste so much sweeter on your tongue? I could search for years on end and never find a taste even half as sweet. Does it seem strange that my taste buds can’t forget you? My tongue aches for your sweet death, thick in my throat from vodka drowned sorrows and long, wasted nights. Everything tastes like smoke, meaningless and unreal; the world has no flavor without you to season it, sprinkling life upon everything you touch. How could I willingly give that up? How could you ask me to?

The days without you are an endless thunderstorm; I’m soaked deep through my core. Brief sparks of your face, your name, your voice are like bolts of lightning igniting my heart; it burns and smarts with every thought of your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your tongue. Every day seems to dull the images, smearing and smudging them in my mind with reluctant fingers. The shine of your eyes seems so much less brilliant. Am I imagining it wrong, or was I just too blind to see it then?  Could your lightning strike me again? Maybe, it would bring back the light from your smile that warms me through my soggy bones, the glimmer in your eyes that tickles my throat. I gasp for final breaths, now, my love. Is this the feeling that you’ve longed for? My own death doesn’t taste nearly as sweet as yours, but only of salty tears and sticky blood, mingling with the knowledge of your existence without me. Is this the life of a lonely God, knowing the things his treasures most, his own damned creations, neglect his existence? You are an atheist of me, disbelief and denial of our entire unity. The church of my own being feels hollow without you to pray in it. Won’t you kneel by my pews once more? Tell me your deepest prayers, you most regretful sins. My wooden frame is splintering, termite infested walls seem to fall with every breath I take in without your scent. I’m so empty, angel, can’t you see that? I’ve no home without your arms to hold me, nowhere to turn to in dark nights.

Don’t say goodbye, love, it’s not the end. Would fate be it that we meet in another life, in a mythical heaven or hell, I might die again. My bloody hands are groping out for you, can you see? Will our love die with me? I’ve been so cold since your warmth disappeared from me that I thought this would be no difference. Even as my blue lips are aching for you, I won’t kiss you again. We both know it’s wrong. 


End file.
